Welcome to a special “Double Take” Edition of Insider Tips.

J. Conrad Frank (Photo: Werner Images)

About three years ago, I was enjoying a Saturday lunch at the late lamented Blue restaurant in the Castro when I glanced across the room and spotted a tall lanky fellow with a handsome profile that struck me familiar. I racked my brain trying to figure out where I recognized him from before finally catching his eye and asking him where he worked, assuming I’d seen him at some shop, bar, or cafe I frequented.

“I’m a performer,” he said, introducing himself as Conrad. In that moment, it all clicked—I’d seen his face for weeks, made-up and bewigged, in advertisements for a Christmas show he was performing as his drag persona, the Countess Katya Smirnoff-Skyy. What a strange—and slightly embarrassing—sensation it was, to realize that I’d not been able to break through my perceptual gender wall to recognize Frank’s striking, singular face out of female context.

Well, Frank—who’s performed male roles in local productions of The Temperamentals and Sweeney Todd over the past year as well as doing regular gigs as Katya—is taking gender-blending one step further as the first drag headliner at San Francisco’s Penthouse Club, in a special Divas! Cabaret Brunch on Sunday, September 16.  The club—regularly packed with conventioneers and other afficionadoes of authentic boobage—advertises with the slogan: “Where the magazine comes to life.” Well, next Sunday, we can amend that to “Where the magazine comes to life…for those of us who read the Forum column with a cockeyed perspective.”

We’ve asked Conrad to answer our Insider Tips questionnaire below.  And if you click here, you can read Katya’s answers to the same queries.

Earlier this week, we introduced you to the year’s greatest gift idea: mink penis bones.

In the future, they may be harder to acquire if minks take up after their fellow woodland creatures and begin wearing protective apparel, such as these sweet tighty whities we came across at an outpost of Therapy, the groovy seven store Bay Area mini-chain.

Next year, opossum thongs!

Which reminded us…the biggest SF skivvie disco of the summer is next weekend’s Underworld, on Saturday night at 525 Harrison Street. As Daniel Day Lewis once said: There will be nuts.

Larger animals may want to do their partying over at the Rickshaw Stop on Fell Street, where Bearracuda will take over for the evening.

Squirrels, otters, and the occasional wombat partied at last Labor Day’s Underworld. (Photo: Marques Daniels Photography)

Before you scurry along to seek more nutritious internet fare, please enjoy the official Squirrel Underpants video, after the jump. Read more…

San Francisco’s stellar siren, Veronica Klaus

Knockout song stylist Veronica Klaus is a real San Francisco gem, delivering respectful yet singular interpretations of  Great American Songbook tunes that will please devotees while winning new converts from younger generations.  The resident Tuesday night performer at the late, lamented Enrico’s restaurant during its final two years, Klaus now performs regularly at the Rrrazz Room—where she’ll be showcasing selections from the Peggy Lee songbook this weekend—along with Joe’s Pub in New York, The Gardenia Room in L.A., and other marvelous boîtes hither and yon.

Her superb new album, Something Cool, has been on heavy rotation here in the San Francisco Agenda office. Among the highlights is  Klaus’ jaded, jazzy rendition—killer trumpet solo!— of “The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game,” a song oddly unfamiliar to the general public despite having previously been recorded by performers ranging from Ella Fitzgerald, to the Marvelettes, to Massive Attack.

Clearly, our Ms. Klaus has a discerning musical palate. And she’s equally impeccable in her selections of food, fashion, et cetera. Which is why we asked her to answer our Insider Tips questionnaire. Read her answers, and buy her album, stat!

What’s your favorite cultural institution to spend time at in the city?  

 The Alameda Antiques flea market—held the first Sunday of every month—qualifies as a cultural institution for me! You can learn a lot at a museum, but you can also learn a lot about society by the things it saves and casts off. Put on your hat, dress up and make an occasion of it!

Where’s your favorite view in the city?  

 It’s great to take in the sites while riding a bicycle through Golden Gate Park to Ocean Beach. The park really is an incredible resource and presents LOTS of different opportunities for sightseeing and mind clearing. I do it as often as possible in good weather early in the morning.  There’s something about putting it in high gear and going as fast as you can downhill through the meadows and the mist that really starts the day right! Rent a bike and go!

Where is shopping central for you?

I’m an compulsive browser when it comes to antiques and vintage, and there are several places to get your fix:  For clothing and accessories it’s Torso Vintages near Union Square downtown. They have an exquisite collection of designer, vintage and accessories that always amazes me–from Yma Sumac estate vintage gowns to FABULOUS hats!  Full disclosure: I work there too, but believe me, I shop!

For antiques and such there is Stuff on Valencia–two floors of fantastic and fantastically priced things that I may not end up buying but NEED to
visit often. For instance, there’s a folding screen made up, probably in the 70s, of authentic 30s hand-painted movie boards used to advertise in theater
lobbys.  NO ONE does this sort of calligraphy painting by hand anymore and it is exquisite!

Name one thing a visitor shouldn’t miss eating in San Francisco?

 The sweetbreads at Florio!  I don’t know exactly what they are–and please don’t tell me–but they are the most decadent succulent treats in town! What’s even better?  Though they used to only be an appetizer, they recently added them as an ENTREE size dish!  Oh, and did I mention there is bacon involved?

What’s your cocktail spot of choice? 

Two places for different moods:  Most of the time when I go out to a club I want to see some live music with my cocktail, and the best place in town for that is The Rrazz Room!  It’s a fantastic room to see a show in:  great sight-lines, sound, and a stellar array of artists!  It’s downtown at the Nikko Hotel in Union Square so it’s very centrally located.  You might be lucky and catch renowned artists like Della Reese, Mary Wilson formerly of the Supremes or the amazingly talented Tammy Hall playing piano with her own trio or accompanying any number of wonderful singers! [Ed: Including Ms. Klaus...but, while she's biased, we completely agree with her recommendation.]

For those nights when you just want a quiet cocktail with friends, The Comstock Saloon in North Beach has been in continuous operation since 1907 and is a great holdover from the old days of the Barbary Coast!  They are serious about their bartending there and take great pains to make you the PERFECT Manhattan….though a good Scotch neat is more my style.  One of the attractions you must look for is the original porcelain trough running along under the bar stools which used to function as a spittoon and supposed urinal for lazy, and intoxicated 49ers.  Don’t worry, it’s only a conversation piece now.

You’ve got $50 or more per person to spend for a meal, where would you choose?  

Da Flora restaurant on Columbus in North Beach—home of the sweetbreads!  Flora and Mary Beth run this fine Venetian cuisine establishment in a tiny little10 table space that is dark and cozy–just what I would imagine a fabulous century old Venetian restaurant to look like.  The gnocchi will start the meal off with delicious comfort and the menu usually includes a risotto orduck livers and other assorted ultra fresh and delicious regional specialties.  Try to take it easy on the house made focaccia bread because you will need the room.  They have their specialty cheeses flown in and for wine aficionados, Flora is adept at suggesting the perfect compliment to their amazing menu!  Call for reservations.

So now you’ve got less than $15 per person to spend for a meal. Where will it be?  

It’s got to be Pancho Villa Mexican restaurant on 16th St. near Valencia.  For a budget meal, there is NOTHING better than Pancho Villa’s carnitas burrito with black beans and guacamole.  You can smother it with Pico de Gallo at the salsa bar for free!  Delicious, and a bargain! Oh yes, and if you want seconds you don’t have to stand in line again….don’task how I know that.

What would you tell a visitor that they absolutely must do while in San Francisco which they probably wouldn’t find in a guidebook? 

The rooftop garden at the Fairmont Hotel is a gorgeous and chic place to spend a free hour and is open to the public!  You can take a free City Guides tour of the hotel
and get some wonderful insights on its history in San Francisco: it was built before the 1906 earthquake and has quite a storied past.

If you can’t afford to give your man a mink this coming Christmas, you can always throw him a bone. Frankly, at $2.25 a, uh, pop, you can manage boning him all twelve nights.

Unlikely to be topped—ahem—as the greatest gag—teehee—gift you’ll come across—hahahaha—in San Francisco this year are these genuine mink penis bones, on sale at the fabulously eccentric Paxton Gate natural sciences boutique on Valencia Street.

The gift that will bring a whole new meaning to “stocking stuffer”

Does your guy already have enough mink penis bones? Well heck, Paxton Gate (PG for short, XXX for small furred creatures) is your one stop shop for all things fauna-phallic. At  just $4 apiece, PG’s long, elegantly curved raccoon numbers would make truly stirring swizzle sticks. Also on display are red fox cocks (Just keep ‘em away from Aunt Esther).

And while The San Francisco Agenda can’t send each and every one of our lovely readers a bone to call their own, we have come up with a wonderful free-associative gift to share:

Check out Eartha Kitt singing Mink, Schmink as the soundtrack to a collection of River Phoenix clips. Video after the jump (my bones). Read more…

Two things you’re pretty much guaranteed to spot on an afternoon stroll through the Castro: gay fathers with kids in tow, and gay boutiques displaying novelty t-shirts that should never be worn around the little ones.

What self-respecting gay father wants to provoke questions like “Papa, what does  ’It’s Not Going to Suck Itself’ mean?”  or “Daddy, what’s a ‘Three Beer Queer’”?

Designer and daughter

Enter East Bay graphic designer and stay-at-home father of two Josh Beatty, whose new line of 24-7 Baby-Daddy tees, offers a more child-appropriate approach to gag shirts  (‘No Gag Reflex’ is not amongst this collection). Beatty says his shirts are for all the men who are shrugging off Mr. Mom stigmas, “from the 24-7 Baby Daddy that has just discovered he can fall in love with a baby, to the 24-7 Big Kid Daddy who’s running around and playing almost as much as his active squirts.” (There may be a crossover shirt that somehow incorporates the words “active squirts”).

24-7 Baby Daddy is offering a 15% online discount to San Francisco Agenda readers—just enter GLADDADDY15 at check-out.

Jim Provenzano

Writer Jim Provenzano‘s latest novel, Every Time I Think of You, won a 2011 Lambda Literary Award for Best Gay Romance. It’s a coming of age/coming out story that also addresses the challenges of physical disability, without ever feeling didactic or issue-oriented. Former sportswriter Provenzano—perhaps best known for his wrestling novel, PINS—is also the editor of BARtab, the Bay Area Reporter‘s glossy monthly guide to GLBT arts and nightlife, making him an ideal addition to our rogues gallery of Insider Tipsters.

Given his recent fictional focus on a character with disabilities, Provenzano suggested that, in addition to his personal favorite spots in San Francisco, he’d like to share some useful websites for travelers with disabilities. We couldn’t be happier to facilitate that:

• The San Francisco Access Guide:  A resource hub from The San Francisco Travel Association                            
• San Francisco On the Level: Wheelchair accessible tours of the city with no grades of more than 8%
• Ability Trip: San Francisco:  SF section of a trusted global guide to accessible travel

And now, on with Provenzano’s picks…

What’s your favorite SF cultural institution?

Aside from the GLBT Historical Society, which Michelle Tea previously spotlighted in your blog, I’d have to say The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, at least the foyer— it’s architect Mario Botta’s masterpiece, and word is that it’s going to be smashed apart to make way for, I dunno, something else. Really a shame. See it while you can, the way it is now.

Treasure Island with a hot Army guy before Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was abolished, on July 4, while holding hands. Sorry, that’s sharing a bit too much. Seriously, I’d recommend taking in the skyline while kayaking outside a Giants game in McCovey Cove; or from Angel Island; or from across the Golden Gate Bridge in the Marin Headlands.

Provenzano’s tips continue, after the jump

Read more…

If you’re planning ahead—whether for the weekend, or for Christmas—mark Friday through Sunday (August 3-5) on your calendar for a visit to the American Craft Council’s annual exhibition at Fort Mason Center, featuring work from over 200 artists. With prices ranging from the tens- to the tens-of-thousands, the country’s largest juried craft show west of the Rockies is highlighted this year by two new exhibition categories sure to appeal to the Bay Area’s crafty cognoscenti:

• Foodieware features fully functional art for the kitchen and dining room. From cutlery to serving platters to woven table dressings, this is the intersection of beauty and utility. While it can be  nervewracking to select purely artistic craftwork to give to others, the practical dimension of the items on display in these booths makes them particularly gift worthy.

• Men’s Department focuses on one-of-a-kind handmade wearables and accessories for guys, including Santa Rosa leather artist Richard Davis’ museum-worthy murses.

Lesbian jewelry artists Lou Ann Townsend and Mary Filapek try to capture the cosmos in their work.

Members of the Bay Area’s overlapping scientific and GLBT communities will want to check out the bold sterling silver and polymer jewelry created by art- and life-partners Mary Filapek and Lou Ann Townsend, from North Carolina. The pair point to atomic and cellular structure as a major influence on their work, and the copy on their website suggests that they’ll be quite a hit with the local girl-geek crowd: “Two sodium atoms are walking along the street when one stops and says, ‘Oh my God, I think I’ve lost an electron.’ ‘Are you sure?’ asks the other sodium atom. ‘Yes,’ replies the first sodium atom, ‘I’m positive.’”

On Friday  from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.,  admission to the exhibition will be discounted to $5 (from $14), with live music and free sampling of Balvenie Single Malt Whiskey livening up the evening hours

PASSPORT magazine favorite Bryan Batt, of Mad Men and Jeffrey fame,  recently visited the ACCS’ East Coast show in Baltimore to find items for his  New Orleans design shop, Hazelnut.  Video after the jump

Read more…

So, on a recent reporting trip for PASSPORT magazine’s upcoming October spa issue, I totally counteracted a visit to The Spa at the Healdsburg Hotel  in Sonoma County with a walk across the Healdsburg town square to Powell’s Sweet Shoppe, where I sacrificed my newly health-infused body to a $100,000 Bar and a licorice whip or seven (Damn nostalgia!)

Powell’s feels as much like a museum as a retail outlet, with brilliantly curated and displayed confections that will tickle your sweet tooth and your memory bank. There’s also a great display of  CandyLand boxes and game boards from the early 20th Century to the present, showcasing a fascinating evolution in kid-friendly graphic design. The quality and attention to detail at Powell’s is so top-notch I was genuinely surprised to learn that it’s part of a small California-based chain (Other Bay Area locations include Berkeley, San Jose, and Petaluma). Whether you’re 20 or 80, you’re likely to come across a favorite candy from your childhood that you haven’t seen in years (Just read through Powell’s Candy by Decade  list to get your synapses firing and your mouth watering).

You can also cobble together some cool candygrams to text home to the hubby:

 Check out Powell’s promo video, after the jump…

Read more…